Helen Plus Three

It's the year of the double whammy! PSLE and O Levels for the two boys. Will I survive,  I' m sure I will but in what condition.  lol. Somebody mentioned something the other day,  which meant I stress them and they stress me. That sounds like a waste of energy doesn't it ? So why do it. So now I do it slightly differently and it does feel better - the pressure is off on all of us. But it doesn't mean I will stop pushing.. ok nudging does that some better ?? Be Ernie not Bert !

I dropped my son off at a birthday party somewhere in ulusville (to me that is, where I stay is probably someone elses' ulusville)... in Loyang and picked in up a few hours later. Another boys 11th birthday and it's the usual beyblades, Xbox and NERF wars.... You only have that kind of fun at this age and you are only 11 once. So of course to and fro, taxi charges were $70 in total The surcharge in the evening racked it up another $10. I told my son his  bill for the night and he asked ' can we buy a car'. I suppose I'll have to explain to him that it is still cheaper than renting which is still cheaper than buying. Oh well we'll see, life is so full of surprises.!  Maybe I'll strike TOTO soon.

My youngest turned 11. he got two parties this year, one with family including cousins and another with his school mates and neighbourhood playmates. He makes friends easily. And of course where boys are concerned, the in thing now is NERF. So you can imagine, that's all they were talking about and bothering with from start to finish... fixing up their guns, attachments, bullets, extensions and who would have thought there were so many  different varieties. I was concerned they would mix up their toys, but oh no... I'm told 'chill' 'no worries' .... So I left them to it and they had great wild time in the park engrossed in their Nerf war..  Of course my living room looked like a battle zone with parts, and bullets and bags not to mention food and cups and drinks by the time we were half way through the party. And what kind of party would it be without FAST FOOD!. It is now almost coming to the close of my evening. And for the family I hope they enj...

When you say no TV,  remember to specify Youtube, cos Youtube is not TV. When you say no games, remember to specify TV and pc, AND mobile phone. It's the technicalities that the kids will get you on. They are so sharp when it comes to that kind of stuff and yet they can't apply it at school. There are way too many channels to plug, and if the kids are in need of reminding to be responsible, just wave the wand on the 'parental controls' and block it all.  When the battle cries have calmed down and they then can hear what I am saying,  I release some of the sites, but not before I 've looked them over. Beware of gambling card games hidden well within innocent looking kids games.

First it was Caylee, now I read about another child. How does a child of 13 years, go missing for 2 years with no one missing him. Anyone following the story of Christian Choate would ask this question first. And to think that the family services were already aware of the child. I hope it's a wake up call for relevant authorities and not just another tragedy. It's so, so sad.

I don't always know what's best but I know what's right. I may not be the best mother in the world, but I do my best. Every child has a right to live, to feel safe, to be loved. It is my job to ensure they do. No child is perfect, they are all perfect to me. Mischief! It's all part of the plan If it doesn't feel right, it's not. If it doesn't feel natural, it cannot be. If my child is not happy, I'm not. If my child cannot express himself out loud, there is a reason. Is there enough laughter Are there enough cookies. Have I given my child memories of balloons, fries and ice cream. Is it enough......... I cannot follow my mother's parenting pattern, but I can follow how (much)love is given.

The lost and found department, that's me.  I'm the first person they come looking for when they've lost an item. Mummy is the finder of lost items. The kids are always loosing stuff, why? Of course, because they don't know where they walked off to; and I end up looking for them and finding them. It's amazing isn't it, I'm the one who's supposed to be with the Bad memory, and yet I'm the one who seems to recall seeing this or that or remembering a glimpse of said item. Can I help but nag about tidying up spaces. Even my eyesight seems to top theirs. I have a 7th sense, I even see things sitting right in front of their faces that they can't. I'm thinking of charging for the service!

I'm reading Future Minds at the moment and oh my goodness, I think Richard Watson is describing my youngest ..... the attention deficit, hyperactivity fleeting from subject to subject, unable to entertain themselves, bored always bored when there are a thousand things to do ..... . Are you afraid of leaving home without your cellphone? While we are at instant coffee, they are at instant answers. While we enjoy and can savour our tea, they can't slow down to do that, much less think and reflect for deeper and wider issues. Do they realise you can reset to solve problems. If they are hooked to the screens, it's difficult for them to read or to want to read... cos it's slow, it's boring, it's not interesting There's little practise to engage from their part, because the screens always engage them. Traffic is one way What's happened to imagination. Has the brain already been re-wired, am I too late, it's scary. Holidays are coming SOON. First...

School hols are stressful unless you can afford to take them on long overseas holidays. How to keep them occupied,  is always the question at the top of your mind. What to do?  The kids have to get out of the house or they would be vegetating with the digital games. We took a trip to Sentosa, during the Hari Raya Haji holiday. Surprisingly it was not crowded at all, as we expected.  We had not been to Sentosa in a while so why not.  Sentosa can be an expensive place with a family of 3 kids, unless you plan to slump on the beach of course. But the kids needed to get out and do things.  There were no long queues which was great. We took a few rides on the Luge, 2 for me and 3 each for the boys. It was fun. Alr was a real speeder, almost crashing into the slow sign barrier. Once done,we took a walk to the other end of the beach to look for the Mega Zip (the flying fox thingy).   That was expensive like a lot of the amusements on Sentosa.  ...

Today as I went through some practice maths with Alr (getting the logical side of my brain to work), I'm thinking my folks never really sat down with me, not close to 10% as much as I have to now with the kids. Is the curriculum harder or are the kids softer ? We have to check on their bags,  remind about homework, packing worksheets etc etc ..... nag nag nag to clean up after themselves.. toys and books.  I don't remember as much, I don't think we were that good. Or I think we just didn't have that many things . They need to be entertained more and can't seem to do so by themselves unless it comes with a game console attached. Board games only hold their attention for so long and reading instructions seems painful. More sheltered, I suppose too.  Last Saturday, Alr and I caught a cab to go to Sengkang. It was a 20 minute ride at best. The thing is, there was a stench in the cab. The smell was something like dried(preserved) fish or prawn, some passenger bef...

Sunday 24 Oct..... Why is it sometimes it feels like particular days are designated as argument day. Out of the blue, tempers flare, patience goes on vacation and (temperature rises) heated words get exchanged by all parties. We all just get ignited simultaneously. Perhaps it is the air! This happens between 17 year old, 13 year old and me the adult. Hmmm, I see the problem now.,  it's got to do with teenage hormones,  they outweigh and outrank the natural order. In other words, I'm outnumbered. Whatever the case, there is NO EXCUSE for blatant insolence. Ommmmm

On Saturday, I decided to take advantage of the bookshops special discount offer of 25%. I wanted to buy more academic practice books for the hols.. yeah yeah kiasu.    But the sale was only at the Ion where the Popular outlet is called Prologue. I suppose the name 'Popular' just won't do in a upscale mall like the Ion. Just as 'Harris" is at Suntec.  Anyway this was my first actual visit to the Ion. I usually avoid Orchard Road cos I don't like crowds. Well despite getting lost, walking every which way but the right way, we finally got to the store on the 4th level. (I must add they do have very polite information service persons posted here and there for help but it didn't help cos the lifts were full). The Ion was crowded, it was a Saturday night I suppose. We found the lift lobby but just couldn't get in and decided let's find the escalators and find a way with more walking. We found the store. It didn't look like the Popular we are used...

A sms conversation with a pal of mine - do we stress, why we stress, what if we don't stress the kids... it's all about education and the system that perpetuates it. Why do we do it, we just want the best like everyone else for them..we can't help it. What's best - a good job, a good salary. how about good memories of childhood .. they need time to make those I remind myself. It's a constant battle to push or let go. I want them to have childhood memories worth having.  I can't prevent all the bad ones but I can help with time to make happy ones.

Schools have forgotten about basics. I met my son's teacher a few months back and I said to her  'could you introduce school brushing like they did in the old days?' she looked at me a little queerly. I don't think I meant it in the literal sense but the point was that. With 'progress' in learning systems - pc-fitted, thinking creatively, learning out of the school room ... online., all of us jumping on the bandwagon of the education rat race, seems we have trouble enforcing the basics  like neatness, treating books with care and brushing teeth which for some reason the kids - see as less important ! What's up with that ? Basics just get pushed down the list.....

'boon and bane ' Game speeds, hand eye coordination ...   violent game scenarios.... they can pick up games and yet have problem using  the Powerpoint ? Typing is too passe...  .. I suppose the invention to do away with that is up next ! Where's the time to experience peace, calm..dinner conversation... when the goal of each waking moment is to fill with some action. Unless it's 'moving', nothing else seems to HOLD their attention for long... everything else seems slow and booori..ng especially reading.. What's happened to their imagination, where is it buried, how do we bring it back out to work again. Unlike the ancient floppy disk, the imagination has no limitations so why are children so limited in using theirs. 

It's been a tiring week, I'd like nothing better than staying at home-sweet-home. Arn has his calendar full this Saturday, which means my calendar goes out the window. Parent- teacher meeting in the morning and then I guess I should take him to the birthday party he got an invite to. That will take most of my afternoon and early evening and it's really really... out of the way like in Pasir Ris. But the child is entitled to his moments. I will have to hang around somewhere close by for about 3 - 4 hours(or stick my self infront of host's TV) before I can fetch him. But in the end I will probably be glad for it - that  I did bring him. Should I rent a car ? Still got things to do.... ... itching to get to my card kit ...

I'm thinking of putting an end to it permanently ! It seems like Maplestory has to go.  It's too addictive.. ..  It's CA week, ..I've.  got to do something. Ok... I pulled the plug this morning. Let's see what the effect is ? Can they survive two days ... a week  ... without it ?

Alr got his dental appliance just over the  weekend (18 July).  If you're a parent with kids with problem teeth that just won't grow the right way, you'll understand ,. it's expensive,. it's tough the first few days, .. you just got to keep coaxing him to stick with the programme, think of what it will accomplish a year from now, .. . 2 years from now. He's just a kid, such long term goals don't really inspire, it's a little hard to appreciate with such short term discomfort. What helps him too, is the fact that big sister went through it (not exactly the same, but ..) so if she could,  he can too. I hope that'll hold him for a bit..  ..  Poor thing .. can't talk properly, can't eat properly.. drooling problem   etc etc.....   All in all, so far he seems to be coping better than I expected. If I wrote about this during Alx's time, I think it would sound less painful, well that story ended with success. . I hope .... what do I ...

..............because I'm not perfect, neither is their father. Why weren't we made perfect ? because our parents were not ? because ................ Who created us ? (think I'll stop there !.. it's just one of those days......) Life was sure less complicated when I was a kid.

22 June I was reminded that this is the last week of the school holidays. I am glad really, because it 's stressful, the house almost feels chaotic without the order of school timetables, and beside it's not like I get holidays too . So to cram in a little more play, on Tuesday I took a half day, prayed that it didn't rain, to let them have their swim. Actually it was mostly Ar who was pestering me about it, he wanted to practise his new found skills. We went to Anchorvale, dad brought us, mum wanted some sun and so we all went. I call it the mini Sunway lagoon, cos it's not just pool but slides and slides and waterfalls and water dumps here and there. It was pretty crowded in the play area for a weekday. Alx had to go to school, commitments to meet. It didn't rain.. Why is it, you don't want to entertain their every want (should not) but at the same time you feel you still need to give in to some things and go the extra mile ?   Do you know what I...