Helen Plus Three

I don't like funerals. I know they are part and parcel of life, I do attend them out of respect to the dead and courtesy to the living but I don't like them. I have had thoughts over the last few monthS that there will be more of them, more familiar older people passing as time and age gets on. It is a natural rite of life, as leaves wilt and flowers fade and and yet we have to mourn and grieve. But for the old who have lived and can do little more I can't really mourn as think of their relief as release and a moving on. Harder of course when death comes unexpected especially to the young. Funerals force you to deal with loss up close and personal. The 'missing' is more prominent than the life they filled. It's easier from experience, if that someone was far away in another country, their memory lives on more than the fact that they are gone. No delusions, just that distance keeps the living memories closer.

I finished my first of Maya Angelou's books 'The Heart of a Woman '. An amazing woman and amazing life. She is truly blessed in spite of her struggles she has experienced much as a woman and a mother and has really lived. If I estimate correctly this book covered some 8-10 years of her life til her son went to the University. So much courage and zeal. From time to time, she is able to articulate the most deep seated thoughts a woman or a mother has and I am nodding my head and thinking ...that is life and everyone goes through it. Somewhere in the second chapter she writes about her fears, doubts and contradictions of life(beyond their control) outside of them  and yet in the home to her child she must provide a blanket of stability, which warms but does not suffocate," .. A common thought for mums..."She questions whether she loves her children enough  - or more terribly, does she love them too much".

It's been a tiring week, I'd like nothing better than staying at home-sweet-home. Arn has his calendar full this Saturday, which means my calendar goes out the window. Parent- teacher meeting in the morning and then I guess I should take him to the birthday party he got an invite to. That will take most of my afternoon and early evening and it's really really... out of the way like in Pasir Ris. But the child is entitled to his moments. I will have to hang around somewhere close by for about 3 - 4 hours(or stick my self infront of host's TV) before I can fetch him. But in the end I will probably be glad for it - that  I did bring him. Should I rent a car ? Still got things to do.... ... itching to get to my card kit ...

I'm thinking of putting an end to it permanently ! It seems like Maplestory has to go.  It's too addictive.. ..  It's CA week, ..I've.  got to do something. Ok... I pulled the plug this morning. Let's see what the effect is ? Can they survive two days ... a week  ... without it ?

Coincidence or is there some strange message behind there ? Sometime ago at my parent's house, the Sunbirds decided to build their nest right next to the house entrance, against the wall. There are so many trees to choose from and yet they had decided to brave the very human zone. Somehow they knew my folks and any one who goes there can be trusted not to disturb the nest.  Sunbird's nest Ok I'm not saying they fully trust us humans, not like they were willing to hop onto our hands or anything like that. They were very watchful. Whenever any of us wanted to poke our heads closer to see what was in the nest, momma or papa bird would fly out - flitter here and there at a distant, twitting very loudly as if to say get away ..get away... They would calm down when we moved away. Yet inspite of our 'kaponess' or should I say  'caring curiosity', I believe there has been 3 generations coming out from there. A week ago at our house, a pair of doves deci...

Beware strangely identical (prettily worded) messages coming from unknown strangers who want to get to know you . How can I possibly think they are sincere, first thing I think of ,  is this some kind of scam. ??  Is that possible ? Important - pay very close attention to your privacy settings and what information you reveal.

Nat'l Day goodies... It was National Day (9 Aug) a public holiday, an excellent rest day. Of course the highlight seems to be the designer Tote bags... (more style with age.. 45 after all!!)  From home you can hear the jets roar and the helicopters rumble and the fireworks boom.. and unless you turn on the tv to watch the parade, only the ears will get a tiny bit of the celebrations happening down at the Padang. Yesterday evening   (while the sky made 'parade' noise)   I played badminton with Aor. As much as I groaned when he asked me to play with him, I suppose I am glad that I still have the capacity to move (with some speed) the way I must (the joints are still flexible enough,) .. Of course I perspired, (should I say sparkled … hey the pores are not clogged yet…. surely a very good sign ). It was hot, there was a breeze (the wind comes out whenever the rackets come out… strange).

 An interesting question that arose out of the book I'm reading 'Goddesses in Everywoman. Yes I can seriously say 'life has affected me' and left its mark. But honestly speaking, I haven't really gotten much out of it for me yet. Does that make sense ?

The Noisy grill Mum and Dad are moving out of the house I grew up in, of almost 30 yrs 50th Wedding Anniversary Card There's something steady and stable about that old house almost as steady as Dad. That's what it represents. I could always come home or go home - it's always there. I never thought of it differently. Front Porch The landscape has changed, the neighbours have seen a turnaround too. Lots of tall houses now poking the heads up higher than the rest, to the left and the right a few doors down and immediately behind us and in front of us. The school grew taller too over time. The side Garden.. But the house remained my comfort zone.. memories of my dogs, the old iron gate - yes I had a share in painting it too, the plants, the trees - ah.. the old forever non-stop flowering and fruiting drumstick tree. This estate - it is all home. Even when I moved out of the estate, here was where comfort was.  The warmth of  memories, growing up, scraped kn...