Helen Plus Three

Preparing in drips for school getting the kids to write names on their books spring cleaning here and spring cleaning there in spurts .... looking forward to Christmas listening to Christmas songs via You Tube in the office looking forward to wearing that new dress looking forward to Christmas goodies (especially sugee cake) Thinking about what to prepare for the big family feast settling the presents list wrapping the gifts did I miss anyone out ... looking forward to Christmas mass and then the New Year.. Sweet and Heavenly greetings to all this season.

If only the signposts of our life were this clear..!    Signs should be direct. I like this one. Alx took this while in Melbourne....

School hols are stressful unless you can afford to take them on long overseas holidays. How to keep them occupied,  is always the question at the top of your mind. What to do?  The kids have to get out of the house or they would be vegetating with the digital games. We took a trip to Sentosa, during the Hari Raya Haji holiday. Surprisingly it was not crowded at all, as we expected.  We had not been to Sentosa in a while so why not.  Sentosa can be an expensive place with a family of 3 kids, unless you plan to slump on the beach of course. But the kids needed to get out and do things.  There were no long queues which was great. We took a few rides on the Luge, 2 for me and 3 each for the boys. It was fun. Alr was a real speeder, almost crashing into the slow sign barrier. Once done,we took a walk to the other end of the beach to look for the Mega Zip (the flying fox thingy).   That was expensive like a lot of the amusements on Sentosa.  I decided to let the boys have a go wit

moody blues  amid green trees coloured lights  and glitter for  a wet not white  Christmas.... Street decorations, festive lights, giant Christmas trees are out and the festive mood is slowly encroaching on me. I've been trying to put it off but not for long. Advent is here. Not been able to do much with the kids for lack of leave, that's depressed me more I think.  My company starts off leave with a miserable 10 days a year. Well I remind myself, give and take. 5 days of leave translates to 2% a year of not working. So the long-timers here essentially work 2% to 4% less every year compared to those 'new' like me. If you are in a job that constantly practises ROI,  how should one interpret that.. It's the mood, how does one get into it, when you're still slaving away at work, without much leave days. It's depressing. Whether you like it or not, pull up your socks, time to make out that shopping list, gift list, dig out the tree and ornaments

Mine doesn't always work.  Do you have a sense of humour.? Not everyone does. One of my three kids does not I discover, somehow I am not surprised, sad but it's not his fault. It's something one develops (or not) as a consequence of life, at the right point in life. I only hope one can develop it and it 's never too late. I think if you are happy enough and secure enough in your own shoes you probably would have one already. Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it. ~George Saintsbury So can you laugh at yourself ? If you can then you are well- adjusted. Who else would agree with me ..... Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. ~Francis Bacon

I've been reading the Screwtape letters, slowly but surely I get a clearer(more reassuring) picture of God through the eyes of Screwtape, the demon. It's dark I'll admit but there's an upside and really it's hilarious, because humans are so accurately portrayed. The psychological meanderings of our minds and physical weaknesses are depicted chapter after chapter. Would you get drawn in the wrong way?  I doubt it, because our wonderful God the Father is painted with quite lovely descriptions really of love and mercy, and we are forever hopeful in his eyes rather than hopeless; created for the purpose to be one with him. It paints a need for our purpose to be deserving of that oneness with him. On the reverse it also shows us the workings of the evil mind. The blatant self-serving is juxtaposed against the selfless which becomes clearer as you read. Says Screwtape.."He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself

Mind-blowing onde onde yummy..Ondeh Ondeh, I luuuuve them.   click on the link title.. to see where to find the good ones..

Today as I went through some practice maths with Alr (getting the logical side of my brain to work), I'm thinking my folks never really sat down with me, not close to 10% as much as I have to now with the kids. Is the curriculum harder or are the kids softer ? We have to check on their bags,  remind about homework, packing worksheets etc etc ..... nag nag nag to clean up after themselves.. toys and books.  I don't remember as much, I don't think we were that good. Or I think we just didn't have that many things . They need to be entertained more and can't seem to do so by themselves unless it comes with a game console attached. Board games only hold their attention for so long and reading instructions seems painful. More sheltered, I suppose too.  Last Saturday, Alr and I caught a cab to go to Sengkang. It was a 20 minute ride at best. The thing is, there was a stench in the cab. The smell was something like dried(preserved) fish or prawn, some passenger bef

The new house is quite cozy, the first informal house warming was today. There's still a bit of work to be done, but it didn't get in the way. Dad's got a lovely view out his study window, there's a huge green tree with a good distribution of branches, a breezy sway today and feels very cool.  Settling in with his TV sets and electronic gadgets.  Still lots of wires to go into place.  Soon he'll be putting his plants in and smelling the roses. Mum's finally getting comfortable. Soon her spanking new kitchen will be filling up with the old smells of spice, curry and onions. I thought it would feel small but it didn't, it felt comfortable, it felt like home.  The contractor took close to two months and it's not totally completed, odds and ends still not done yet. It will be my turn to move house soon, I'd better start making notes and get advise on good contractors.

Lord, if what I seek be according to our will, then let it come to pass and let success attend the outcome. But if not, my God, let it not come to pass. Do not leave me to my own devices, for you know how unwise I can be. Keep me safe under your protection Lord my God, and in your own gentle way guide me and rule me as you know best. Amen. Call me a 'tired old' Catholic, but I am trying,  the sentiment would apply as to a very elderly person It's been a long two weeks, now and another long week to go... .

If I could do just that for a whole week. What I would give to have been in Elizabeth Gilbert's shoes. I fell in love with Rome and the Italian language just by her story telling. There are many feelings that roamed her mind that I can relate to, the doubts, the uncertainties and the vulnerability. Yet I admire the way she was able to do exactly what she did. Of course one must have the resources, but one must also have that inner push which she had to help the outer push (her 'divine' experience) propel her forward. There's a lot of truth about the subject of religion as relayed by Lizz without putting a label on it,  it's almost identifiable in all the religions that are out there (most of them). I could feel her tumult at the beginning and I could sense the gradual diminishing of it during her stay in Bali. It isn't about romance or companionship or performing duty or charity or morality, it is about finding an inner peace in the mind that means cont

Sunday 24 Oct..... Why is it sometimes it feels like particular days are designated as argument day. Out of the blue, tempers flare, patience goes on vacation and (temperature rises) heated words get exchanged by all parties. We all just get ignited simultaneously. Perhaps it is the air! This happens between 17 year old, 13 year old and me the adult. Hmmm, I see the problem now.,  it's got to do with teenage hormones,  they outweigh and outrank the natural order. In other words, I'm outnumbered. Whatever the case, there is NO EXCUSE for blatant insolence. Ommmmm

On Saturday, I decided to take advantage of the bookshops special discount offer of 25%. I wanted to buy more academic practice books for the hols.. yeah yeah kiasu.    But the sale was only at the Ion where the Popular outlet is called Prologue. I suppose the name 'Popular' just won't do in a upscale mall like the Ion. Just as 'Harris" is at Suntec.  Anyway this was my first actual visit to the Ion. I usually avoid Orchard Road cos I don't like crowds. Well despite getting lost, walking every which way but the right way, we finally got to the store on the 4th level. (I must add they do have very polite information service persons posted here and there for help but it didn't help cos the lifts were full). The Ion was crowded, it was a Saturday night I suppose. We found the lift lobby but just couldn't get in and decided let's find the escalators and find a way with more walking. We found the store. It didn't look like the Popular we are used

"I am never proud to participate in violence, yet, I know that each of us must care enough for ourselves, that we can be ready and able to come to our own defense when and wherever needed."  - M Angelou In other words, love yourself, never let yourself be bullied.

Purple shoes well not exactly purple purple, you know it’s sort of deep purple, so in non-white light it almost looks black. What am I going on about, I decided to adventure into another new territory of non- black shoes. It started with red strappies two years ago, I thought that was major. Ok.. this is just another branch.... or stem. In the daylight you can see it’s purple. Call me old-fashioned, non-adventurous but fashion and I just never had the opportunity to get to know each other that well , we just started getting acquainted in the past 10 years with a sort of a coming out into my own, really, really late bloomer,  hence my obsession with pink in the last few years. Never really had the opportunity in my younger days to explore for the lack of pocket money and a conservative home. And then as one ‘matures’ one doesn’t quite dare dip the feet in until some major catharsis hits like the approach of the middle ages. Anyway today I wore the purple shoes (deep purp

It's Sunday.... no ranting today.... Here's a character who never fails to put a smile on my face. F is for friends that do stuff together U is for you and me N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!! says Spongebob

Is everything more expensive these days or is it my imagination. Did I just pay $15 for a handful of vegetables ?   Fish is expensive  but unfortunately it's also healthier, .. (troublesome too as I get more whining from the the kids ... they 'd rather live on chicken and mutton). ... $16 !! for white pomfret is there any point haggling with the fish seller Prices of food are skyrocketing  but our salaries are barely crawling in the upward motion.  The economy is bad then the weather is bad, then the economy picks up and property prices climb again  although one has got nothing to do with the other,  notice the pattern , it's all just going up (except...) which just means the hole in our pocket grows bigger and bigger. Now to more mundane stuff... it's time for haircuts AGAIN, why do the boys hair just grow like ... lallang .. at least there are still no-frills barbers around for that;  a $7 or $8 for a basic haircut !

I'm still reading ' Half the Sky' , am about 3/4 ways through. Here's a quote of a quote from the book from the father of an Afghan woman, it captures the very essence of the problem, within which is the solution . 'That is why these people are afraid of educating women - they are afraid that then the women will ask questions, will speak up... That's why I believe in education. It is such a powerful tool to overcome poverty and rebuild the country. If we took the foreign aid that goes into guns and weapons and just took one quarter of that and put it into education, that would completely transform this country." In the introduction there was a discussion from security experts that stuck in my mind that 'Empowering girls.. would disempower terrorists', the discussion stems from the marginalization of women and it's consequences. Lots of food for thought !

Went to the bookstore last week; bought 3 books this round, got a little enthusiastic, couldn't stop myself.. at the book store. I feel happy walking among books and books and browsing of course, what a wonderful way to spend time... like a vortex I get sucked in and and forget time and the present. I tell myself these are books that I will keep. But you know there is only so much space for one’s personal book shelves. So after a while I have to decide what to give away to make space, I pass them on to a thrift store or the church’s second hand shop (which is where I go to rummage for books sometimes) There’s also a shop (Sans) that takes back the books you buy from them but of course within a certain time period. Which is ok, they essentially refund you about a third of the book cost which beats disposing. So if there is a series I follow, I get them from there and return mostly but keep the exceptional ones.

'Half the Sky ' by Nicholas D Kristof & Sheryl Wudunn Slavery of women exists today. It's not fiction. Gender discrimination in the East 'is lethal'... millions of females are missing from the globe because of it :- - priority for health care by parents is given to boys, ultrasounds spell doom for females... .... girls have higher fatality rates. - human trafficking of young girls into prostitution runs into millions - India : bride burning .. tales place once every two hours - Pakistan :  over the past 9 years, 5,000 women and girls set alight, doused in kerosene.. - rapes and ruthless murders in Africa I just started reading and it is maddening to realize this is about modern day depraved cruelties against a huge number of women and girls that is allowed to go on, very much in our backyard.. ... because they are 'discounted humans' defined by a society or culture, because politics is 'divisive' on the subject, because of corruptio

A sms conversation with a pal of mine - do we stress, why we stress, what if we don't stress the kids... it's all about education and the system that perpetuates it. Why do we do it, we just want the best like everyone else for them..we can't help it. What's best - a good job, a good salary. how about good memories of childhood .. they need time to make those I remind myself. It's a constant battle to push or let go. I want them to have childhood memories worth having.  I can't prevent all the bad ones but I can help with time to make happy ones.

Schools have forgotten about basics. I met my son's teacher a few months back and I said to her  'could you introduce school brushing like they did in the old days?' she looked at me a little queerly. I don't think I meant it in the literal sense but the point was that. With 'progress' in learning systems - pc-fitted, thinking creatively, learning out of the school room ... online., all of us jumping on the bandwagon of the education rat race, seems we have trouble enforcing the basics  like neatness, treating books with care and brushing teeth which for some reason the kids - see as less important ! What's up with that ? Basics just get pushed down the list.....

After a few field trips with a team of 4 (2 guys 2 ladies)  ..... .. I have come to the conclusion (more like confirms)  that  ..... men don't read instructions and don't ask for directions ... why simply because they  'know it  already' ( imagine it in a braggish tone !) and when they can't figure out how to work it or get lost  they will never admit it..

and aunts too.. Celebration on 10 Sep..  September is full of birthdays.. here's 3 of them right there..(pardon the pix,, it was off a camera phone.), This was made for Marie's special day... ..called a slider card.

'boon and bane ' Game speeds, hand eye coordination ...   violent game scenarios.... they can pick up games and yet have problem using  the Powerpoint ? Typing is too passe...  .. I suppose the invention to do away with that is up next ! Where's the time to experience peace, calm..dinner conversation... when the goal of each waking moment is to fill with some action. Unless it's 'moving', nothing else seems to HOLD their attention for long... everything else seems slow and booori..ng especially reading.. What's happened to their imagination, where is it buried, how do we bring it back out to work again. Unlike the ancient floppy disk, the imagination has no limitations so why are children so limited in using theirs. 

To say you have lived means you should at some time in life, have lived as a beast of burden for a time.

I finally have a weekend, a Saturday that's not scheduled for any particular demand on my time. It's time to go get shoes, somebody's feet grew and somebody's feet is feeling vane. Time to catch up on assignment and read. Let's go to a Novena service first I think, then get on with other matters. Shine on me, sunshine Rain on me, rain Fall softly, dewdrop And cool my brow again. Storm, blow me from here With your fiercest wind Let me float across the sky Til I can rest again.             - Maya Angelou

I don't like funerals. I know they are part and parcel of life, I do attend them out of respect to the dead and courtesy to the living but I don't like them. I have had thoughts over the last few monthS that there will be more of them, more familiar older people passing as time and age gets on. It is a natural rite of life, as leaves wilt and flowers fade and and yet we have to mourn and grieve. But for the old who have lived and can do little more I can't really mourn as think of their relief as release and a moving on. Harder of course when death comes unexpected especially to the young. Funerals force you to deal with loss up close and personal. The 'missing' is more prominent than the life they filled. It's easier from experience, if that someone was far away in another country, their memory lives on more than the fact that they are gone. No delusions, just that distance keeps the living memories closer.

I finished my first of Maya Angelou's books 'The Heart of a Woman '. An amazing woman and amazing life. She is truly blessed in spite of her struggles she has experienced much as a woman and a mother and has really lived. If I estimate correctly this book covered some 8-10 years of her life til her son went to the University. So much courage and zeal. From time to time, she is able to articulate the most deep seated thoughts a woman or a mother has and I am nodding my head and thinking ...that is life and everyone goes through it. Somewhere in the second chapter she writes about her fears, doubts and contradictions of life(beyond their control) outside of them  and yet in the home to her child she must provide a blanket of stability, which warms but does not suffocate," .. A common thought for mums..."She questions whether she loves her children enough  - or more terribly, does she love them too much".

It's been a tiring week, I'd like nothing better than staying at home-sweet-home. Arn has his calendar full this Saturday, which means my calendar goes out the window. Parent- teacher meeting in the morning and then I guess I should take him to the birthday party he got an invite to. That will take most of my afternoon and early evening and it's really really... out of the way like in Pasir Ris. But the child is entitled to his moments. I will have to hang around somewhere close by for about 3 - 4 hours(or stick my self infront of host's TV) before I can fetch him. But in the end I will probably be glad for it - that  I did bring him. Should I rent a car ? Still got things to do.... ... itching to get to my card kit ...

I'm thinking of putting an end to it permanently ! It seems like Maplestory has to go.  It's too addictive.. ..  It's CA week, ..I've.  got to do something. Ok... I pulled the plug this morning. Let's see what the effect is ? Can they survive two days ... a week  ... without it ?

Coincidence or is there some strange message behind there ? Sometime ago at my parent's house, the Sunbirds decided to build their nest right next to the house entrance, against the wall. There are so many trees to choose from and yet they had decided to brave the very human zone. Somehow they knew my folks and any one who goes there can be trusted not to disturb the nest.  Sunbird's nest Ok I'm not saying they fully trust us humans, not like they were willing to hop onto our hands or anything like that. They were very watchful. Whenever any of us wanted to poke our heads closer to see what was in the nest, momma or papa bird would fly out - flitter here and there at a distant, twitting very loudly as if to say get away ..get away... They would calm down when we moved away. Yet inspite of our 'kaponess' or should I say  'caring curiosity', I believe there has been 3 generations coming out from there. A week ago at our house, a pair of doves deci

Beware strangely identical (prettily worded) messages coming from unknown strangers who want to get to know you . How can I possibly think they are sincere, first thing I think of ,  is this some kind of scam. ??  Is that possible ? Important - pay very close attention to your privacy settings and what information you reveal.

Nat'l Day goodies... It was National Day (9 Aug) a public holiday, an excellent rest day. Of course the highlight seems to be the designer Tote bags... (more style with age.. 45 after all!!)  From home you can hear the jets roar and the helicopters rumble and the fireworks boom.. and unless you turn on the tv to watch the parade, only the ears will get a tiny bit of the celebrations happening down at the Padang. Yesterday evening   (while the sky made 'parade' noise)   I played badminton with Aor. As much as I groaned when he asked me to play with him, I suppose I am glad that I still have the capacity to move (with some speed) the way I must (the joints are still flexible enough,) .. Of course I perspired, (should I say sparkled … hey the pores are not clogged yet…. surely a very good sign ). It was hot, there was a breeze (the wind comes out whenever the rackets come out… strange).

 An interesting question that arose out of the book I'm reading 'Goddesses in Everywoman. Yes I can seriously say 'life has affected me' and left its mark. But honestly speaking, I haven't really gotten much out of it for me yet. Does that make sense ?

The Noisy grill Mum and Dad are moving out of the house I grew up in, of almost 30 yrs 50th Wedding Anniversary Card There's something steady and stable about that old house almost as steady as Dad. That's what it represents. I could always come home or go home - it's always there. I never thought of it differently. Front Porch The landscape has changed, the neighbours have seen a turnaround too. Lots of tall houses now poking the heads up higher than the rest, to the left and the right a few doors down and immediately behind us and in front of us. The school grew taller too over time. The side Garden.. But the house remained my comfort zone.. memories of my dogs, the old iron gate - yes I had a share in painting it too, the plants, the trees - ah.. the old forever non-stop flowering and fruiting drumstick tree. This estate - it is all home. Even when I moved out of the estate, here was where comfort was.  The warmth of  memories, growing up, scraped knee

If you constantly pick the low hanging fruits, 2 things will happen : one, you won't attempt to stretch ourselves to reach the higher and so you will not grow and two, you will likely miss a lot of sweeter opportunities and never know what those taste like.

July 17 , 2010... (for non-locals reading this Chomp Chomp is the name of the very popular food centre [open / non-aircon] in Serangoon Gardens) We live here in this estate and yet for some reason I have not brought the kids to eat at Chomp Chomp.  Which is exactly what Alx asked me the other day while we were waiting for a table at a very crowded Chomp Chomp, amid noisy woks clanging and chatter.. with the added flavour of cooking 'fragrances' (oil)  filling the air and settling in my hair too. So last Saturday after watching ' Despicable Me',  I decided why not let them have the experience of Chomp Chomp and at the same time grab my favourite Hokkien Mee. We waited 3/4 hour for a table, and about an hour for the Hokkien Mee... some things just don't change.  That's how I remember it 20-30 years ago.  It was a favourite haunt for us 'youngsters' especially the ice kacang. .... the good ole days... warm memories.. We almost gave up, and wanted t

(very hard to be cool lah) Simple Courtesy There are tonnes of people getting out at Little India station and what do you have , two lumps of stone standing at the doorway... (no they are not related perhaps distantly 500 years ago !) "Excuse Me" is useless..., people shove their way pass them, bags banging at them, still unmovable..- are they brain dead or morons ? Probably a good shove out the door might do it. Feeder service woes My 317 bus.... 6 months ago, it used to come on time and regularly, now it doesn't. They skip a slot, they come two at a time. Want to imagine how irritating that is ? and Yes ....  both incidents  involve 'people'..... ...of course being good citizens we don't resort to 'road' rage or bus captain bashing or finger antics or what uncool ways.. have you,.to let off steam..... we swallow it, not quite digested.. carry it with us and dump it on the unsuspecting junior at the office.....

Alr got his dental appliance just over the  weekend (18 July).  If you're a parent with kids with problem teeth that just won't grow the right way, you'll understand ,. it's expensive,. it's tough the first few days, .. you just got to keep coaxing him to stick with the programme, think of what it will accomplish a year from now, .. . 2 years from now. He's just a kid, such long term goals don't really inspire, it's a little hard to appreciate with such short term discomfort. What helps him too, is the fact that big sister went through it (not exactly the same, but ..) so if she could,  he can too. I hope that'll hold him for a bit..  ..  Poor thing .. can't talk properly, can't eat properly.. drooling problem   etc etc.....   All in all, so far he seems to be coping better than I expected. If I wrote about this during Alx's time, I think it would sound less painful, well that story ended with success. . I hope .... what do I

Today's gospel reading reached out differently.  Usually it's like I just hear the reading and it's like 'yes I know it, I have heard it before'. But today I heard it like it was for me. 'you worry and fret about so many things, and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part; '. Luke 10: 38-42

..............because I'm not perfect, neither is their father. Why weren't we made perfect ? because our parents were not ? because ................ Who created us ? (think I'll stop there !.. it's just one of those days......) Life was sure less complicated when I was a kid.

Nothing but litter and trashy ideas..... sometimes the ad business can reek ! What am I talking about ... putting together an anti-littering campaign..... Busy ! . . . . . . If you could write your own tombstone, what would you write?    

... soccer simpleton speaks...   Now I've heard everything... first it was about the roundest ball ever (when World Cup began) .. Which means the goalkeepers are having problems with a slipperier ball. Now it appears there is something to it if the officials are agreeing, it supposedly now feels like one of those mass produced supermarket types...it's too light.. flies to fast etc etc.. So there's more to a ball and that particular ball has a name too.. Jambulani.... Read on if interested in ball engineering World cup soccer ball still lacking .. Doesn't the saying go... a bad workman blames his tools..  Which came first the skill or the ball ?